One year Ago

Wow, it have been one year since I starting this blog. Back than I was just getting out of a long-term relationship and I did not even knew at that time.  I starting this blog on May 26, 2013 the day right after my 11 year anniversary with my ex husband. At the time, I was emotionally a mess dealing with the fact that I was force to live on my own for the first time in my life.  Well, yes I got marry at 19-year-old and was living with my parents when I got marry. So at the time, I look to ways to keep my spirit up and I found it in hiking and traveling around NC natural parks. It was after spending my anniversary alone without hearing a word from my ex-husband ,which at the time he lie to me, that is when I started this blog. Yes, he lie and told me the separation was for a short period of time and he wanting me to get help. Any way at the time, I was believed the words from friends and family that he still care for me. Later it became clear that those friends was siding with him, lying to me, and digging for information.  My family were believed the lie coming from my ex husband except for my father.  When I was able to talk with my father about everything, my father supported me.

So hiking was my way of refocus my attention on having fun instead of thinking about hard reality that I were facing on not being able to see my children and losing the family life I had built up for 11 years. I had to rediscover who I was away from the mother of … and wife of … It was clean at the time, I had a hard time explaining my life to others without bring up my children and ex-husband. I enjoy hiking and taking photos so much I was able put aside  the pain and hurt for a time being.  It was a nice break from reality and it give my body time to feel at peace. Due to all the hardship I was going through it cause anxiety and depression so much I could not sleep and eat. I was able to talk with a therapist and the therapist was very impressed with measure I was doing on my own to feel better.  She said I was a strong woman and most women dealing with that level of depression would have giving up and put themselves in a home.

Now it have been a year, I am over my depression and moving on with my life. The fun adventures I had with hiking in NC had help me to get to this point.  I am a lot stronger now.  I am living with my parents again but I am working and saving up so I can be independent and not have to depend on others. I love my new life. I may not have my children but I am not going to stress out about something that is out of my control.  Instead I am focus on prepared for college to get my Ph.D. and to one day work for the EPA.  I have high goals that keep me from looking down.  I have no time to look back at my past because I am moving forward.

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One comment on “One year Ago

  1. youngandtwenty says:

    It must be crazy to look back on the things you were writing about a year ago!

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